June 23, 2006
Appreciating the beauty of holy matrimony
Bishop Michael Sheridan, S.T.D.
Jun 23, 2006 2:00 PM

Before marriage was "raised to the dignity of a sacrament" by our Lord, marriage was a gift of God to his creation from the beginning. The first pages of the book of Genesis speak of God’s creation and of the summit of that creation — man. Sacred Scripture tells us that God created man in his own image and likeness. Male and female he created them. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches us that "the vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator" (No. 1603).

Marriage, whether a sacrament (the union of two baptized people) or not, is called a "covenant." This word has a long and rich tradition in both the Old and New Testaments. The Bible tells of the covenants between God and his people in the Old Testament. These covenants are solemn agreements between God and a human being involving mutual commitments. Whether made with Noah, Abraham or Moses, these covenants were the pledges of God’s love and fidelity to his people and the call for a response of love and fidelity from the people of Israel. These covenants prepared the way for the new and definitive covenant that God would make with his people — the new and everlasting covenant in the blood of Christ.

It is in this context that the church reveals the deep significance of marriage. Even on the level of its natural institution, the fidelity and unity that characterize every marriage form an image of the fidelity of God to the covenants made with his people. While the church has not abandoned her references to marriage as a "contract," the use of the term "covenant" gives a sacred character to every marriage. Spouses are always free to enter into marriage or not. However, once they have pledged themselves to each other, the sacred bond of marriage cannot be broken, even by the church. As God’s love knows no end, so the covenant which images God’s love cannot come to an end as long as the spouses live.

Those who marry "in Christ," that is the baptized, are thus plunged into the mystery of Christ’s love for his church. St. Paul offers this beautiful teaching on Christian marriage in his letter to the Ephesians: "‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cling to his wife, and the two shall be made one.’ This is a great foreshadowing; I mean that it refers to Christ and the church" (Eph 5:31-32). Authentic married love is caught up into divine love and so becomes an image — a sign — of Jesus’ love for his church.

Marriage — especially the marriage of Christians — is never the creation of the spouses. Nor is marriage simply a private arrangement between two people. Christian marriage is truly a covenant between man and woman, as well as between them and God. Because God’s love is never-failing, the first essential property of marriage is its indissolubility. What God has joined together no one can tear apart. And yet it is precisely this first property of marriage that is held in such low esteem in our day. More than half of all marriages come to divorce. The numbers are no different for Catholics than for the rest of the population.

Our contemporary culture, especially the popular culture of the entertainment media, holds as the first commandment of our modern world that no one should ever have to do anything that he or she does not want to do. This applies even to the marriage covenant; when either spouse tires of the commitment or finds a new direction to take his or her life, he or she finds justification to walk away from any and all commitments previously made. This renders the entire notion of "covenant" as temporary and contingent. Many of our young Catholic married couples have heard this new "gospel" of self-indulgence preached more forcefully than they have heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ preached.

When couples say "I do" they pledge themselves to each other completely and for life. And yet we must wonder how many couples really comprehend the gravity of their vows.The catechism reminds us: "So that the ‘I do’ of the spouses may be a free and responsible act and so that the marriage covenant may have solid and lasting human and Christian foundation, preparation for marriage is of prime importance" (1632).

Because in-depth preparation for marriage is one of the best ways to ensure that the covenant will be lived out in all of its depth of meaning, I will soon promulgate new directives for the preparation of couples for marriage in the Diocese of Colorado Springs. These new policies have been reviewed by our priests and deacons. In the next issue of The Colorado Catholic Herald I will outline and explain these new policies. It is my hope that every couple preparing for marriage in the church will see in these new policies a much-needed help in understanding and appreciating even more the beauty of holy matrimony.