July 7, 2006
New marriage preparation directives

Jul 9, 2006 6:00 PM

As I noted in my last column, we are about to implement new policies and procedures for the preparation of couples for marriage in the Catholic Church. These new policies will not go into effect until January 1, 2007.

It is important, however, that all our Catholic

people begin to become familiar with them. For this reason I will highlight the major components of the new policies, with special attention to changes that will take place.

1. The new policies call for a full year to be devoted to preparation for marriage. The reason for this change (from six months to one year) is to accommodate the increase in the amount of preparation that is called for. In our culture, marriage is attacked from every quarter. What may have sufficed as adequate preparation a generation ago simply does not suffice any longer.

One year of spiritual preparation is not unreasonable when you consider that most couples begin their "secular" preparations (securing the reception hall, planning menus, attire, etc.) at least a year in advance of the marriage. That is the time to meet with the parish priest (or deacon) to begin the more important preparation — preparation to enter into and live out a life-long commitment that is grounded in the bond that is created when a couple exchanges vows.

Marriage and the ordained ministry (diaconate and priesthood) are the two vocations that are confirmed and established by sacraments. Candidates for the diaconate and the priesthood must undertake at least four years of preparation before they can be ordained. For most priests the average length of preparation is about seven years. Does it not seem appropriate that at least one year be devoted to preparation for marriage?

2. In addition to ensuring that the bride and groom are compatible with each other, a renewed emphasis on the sacramentality and indissolubility of marriage will occupy a prominent place in marriage preparation. Especially helpful will be instruction in Pope John Paul II’s "theology of the body." Our late beloved Holy Father has left the church the great gift of these instructions on the meaning human sexuality and marriage. We want all candidates for marriage to be exposed to this beautiful teaching.

3. While some pastors have required couples to become familiar with a program of Natural Family Planning, this has not been consistent throughout the diocese. Mandatory instruction in Natural Family Planning will constitute a very important part of our new marriage preparation policies.

Among the threats to marriage in our culture, there is none greater than the contraceptive mentality that has become almost commonplace in the marriages of non-Catholics and Catholics alike. Forty-five years ago, when the oral contraceptive became readily available, it was touted as the answer to all the problems of married life. Now we know that contraception, far from being the panacea that was promised, has been a factor in the disintegration of countless marriages. It is essential that married couples adopt a program of family planning and responsible parenthood that is in accord with the teaching of the church. Natural Family Planning is just such a program. There will be more about this in the next issue of The Colorado Catholic Herald.

There is much more to marriage preparation than what has been highlighted here. Soon, when the new policies are promulgated, brochures outlining all the steps of preparation will available from your parish priest or director.

Sometimes couples preparing for marriage ask why the church demands so much preparation of them. The answer is simple. It is not because the church wants to place more hurdles for couples to jump. Rather, the reason why so much is demanded is because the church treasures marriage and family life so much.

If the church did not hold the holy state of marriage in such high esteem, she would care very little if couples were prepared for marriage or not.

It has been said by many people, and I agree completely: The authentic renewal of the church and then of our society and culture will derive from the renewal of marriage and family life. The family is the primary building block of any society or civilization. When marriage and families are strong, nations are strong. This renewal will come about when a new sense of commitment to the vows of marriage by our Catholic people and others of good will becomes a reality. Solid preparation for marriage will go a long way toward promoting that renewal.

I ask all couples who will be looking forward to marriage, as well as their parents and friends who want only the best married life for the couple, to see in these new marriage preparation policies the opportunity to ground their marriage in the rock-solid teaching of the Catholic Church.

May God bless abundantly all married couples and all those who are contemplating marriage.