July 21, 2006
Why Natural Family Planning Is Good For You
Bishop Michael Sheridan, S.T.D.
Jul 24, 2006 1:00 PM

One of the most important elements of our new diocesan policies for marriage preparation is education of the couple in natural family planning (NFP). The reason why NFP education will be required is that this is the truly viable and moral alternative to artificial contraception and the

growing contraceptive mentality that Pope Paul VI predicted in his 1968 encyclical "Humanae Vitae."

Before we examine the goodness and beauty of NFP, it is important to understand and accept in our hearts the Catholic teaching regarding contraception.

Contraception is intrinsically immoral and mortally sinful. This is taught infallibly by the Church’s magisterium, and so it is part of the faith of the Catholic Church. It is true that many Catholics do not accept this teaching of the church, but not accepting the teaching neither makes it go away nor renders it invalid. It simply means that many Catholics have chosen to contravene a moral norm that comes from God. How tragic that so many Catholics have accepted a counterfeit version of the beautiful reality of the marital union!

Contraception is immoral for this simple reason: it violates the dignity of the human person as well as the divinely instituted meaning of marriage. Sacred Scripture teaches that man is created in the image and likeness of God. God is a "Trinity of Persons" whose very nature is to love completely. St. John tells us that, indeed, God is Love (1 Jn 4:16). We are created to mirror that divine love, which is always life-giving. When couples marry, they promise to give themselves completely to each other in love. How beautiful and exciting! When a couple contracepts, spouses then offer to each other everything except their fertility. A married love that is less than total cannot reflect the love that is God.

In God’s creation we find the fundamental meaning of marriage. God created woman because it was not good for the man to be alone. Having created Eve, God told her and Adam to be fertile and multiply. Here we find the two ends of marriage: the unitive and the procreative. Contraception breaks the intrinsic connection between the unitive and procreative dimensions of the marital act. We must remember that it is God who has determined what the marital act was meant to express.

When a couple practices contraception, it not only denies the necessary procreative dimension of every act of intercourse, it also raises the pursuit of pleasure to the highest principle of marriage. Many reasons are given by couples for using contraception — finances, careers and health worries, to name some — but there is no escaping this core message of contraception: I want pleasure, and I want you to provide that pleasure, but I will not accept children lovingly from God — as I promised on the day of marriage. Whether initially intended or not, this reduces the other person to little other than an object. Again, not only does contraception violate the procreative dimension of the marriage act, it attacks the unitive dimension as well. The union of a married couple is meant to be nothing less than total. Contraception ensures that this will not happen.

While the church teaches that artificial contraception is always sinful, the church also teaches the necessity of responsible parenthood. Part of what it means to be responsible parents can involve the spacing of children in a family. God, in fact, invites married couples to a unique participation in the power of creation. Even though every human being is a unique and invaluable expression of God in the world, nevertheless, it is clear from creation that God did not intend every act of marital intercourse to result in a new human person. When a couple conscientiously and for just cause decides that the conception of a child ought to be delayed, the couple may refrain from sexual intercourse during the days of the woman’s fertile period. Unlike contraception, which essentially takes God out of family planning, NFP respects the natural cycles created by God.

It is often said that NFP is nothing other than "Catholic contraception." Nothing could be further from the truth! Even though the purposes of NFP and contraception may be the same, the means are essentially different. NFP couples, while engaging in non-procreative intercourse by making use of the infertile times, still give themselves to each other completely. The contracepting couple, which places a positive obstacle to procreation, withholds its fertility from each other.

NFP is not only a morally acceptable means for the spacing of children, it has absolutely proved itself to be a boon to marriages. Some couples complain that NFP requires too much "work." The couple actually has to think about its love and the place of children in its marriage. After all, shouldn’t married love be spontaneous — even impulsive? Just take a pill and we don’t even have to think about what we are doing or the consequences of what we are doing, these couples say. This rather mindless non-involvement of the couple in its own married life is precisely what can and does often lead to the breakdown of marriages.

Christian marriage demands sacrifice, chastity and self-control. These are not impossible acts! God created each of us with the capacity to live these virtues — with his grace. We must trust that God will not let us down. He will transform the counterfeit into something better and more fulfilling than we ever imagined. In a culture that seeks instant gratification, there has never been a more important time than now for the world to see joyful examples of these virtues. The fact is that approximately 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Only 3-5 percent of NFP marriages end in divorce. Conclusion: NFP is good for marriage.

The promises that accompanied the marketing of the oral contraceptive nearly 50 years ago have all proved to be empty. Abortions did not decrease. Divorces did not decrease. Married couples did not become happier. Just the opposite happened. Having learned from experience that contraception is not good for marriage, now is the time to accept what God and his church give us for our good and the good of married life.

Even as we make NFP education required for our engaged couples, I encourage all married couples in their childbearing years to learn about NFP. I also encourage you to read the testimonies in this special section from couples from all walks of life and stages of marriage who took the leap of faith and found, not disappointment, but happiness.

When couples embrace NFP they embrace and respect life in the midst of a culture of death. May God bless all married couples and all those preparing for marriage. May their lives authentically reflect God, who is love.